CriticaGeek

Oh! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I'LL MAKE THE REVIEW ABOUT IT, JUST TO MAKE YOU QUIET!

Except that you won't. Do you?! I'll make angry fans and haters of the series and shit. It always happens, nobody is fucking happy (but no one dares to comment in the blog). I didn't wanted to make the review because my feelings about this series makes the review like passing a kidney stone: Really painful. Uncomfortable. My feelings are so mixed that if you put ice cream you could call it a milkshake. So, today might like it and tomorrow my hate it.

Ok, let me be clear from the beginning on what I like about the series because talking about what I like is more boring than talking about what I hate:

- Good Mecha fights.
- The Original Ending even when it didn't make any fucking sense, no matter what NGETards say.
- They have their own REAL racing team in SuperGT in Japan with the racing suits like the body suits from the anime.
- Opening Song.

Ok, I'M FUCKING REALLY TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO ADD TO THE PREVIOUS LIST BUT I CAN'T, I'M REALLY TRYING TO LIKE THE SERIES!!!! I don't really hate it but I can't really like it. I watched the series and two movies, but I don't remember a thing.

The religious symbolism is useless, I don't really know why is there. It doesn't add anything. Evangelion, Eva, Angels, Longinus, Lilith, etc. Why? The fucking story is not really explained until you read alot on the internet and saw the movies like a hipster to search the ironic meaning which is like saying that a cake made of shit taste good if you expected it to taste like shit.

Maybe that isn't that bad because even I did a mech story with Holydayman about a Mecha war using Metallica songs to name places, mechs and wars, but at least our story had some kind of introduction, but this doesn't. They give you the introduction to why all these events happen through biblical metaphors... Oh shit, I still can't get it. Again, this wouldn't make that much of a fuss if the characters were at least one bit of relatable.

Some might say that I should like Rei Ayanami because she's cold and shit, like my beloved Yuki Nagato, but at least Yuki Nagato it's ALWAYS cold, or at least she hide it. Rei it's a fucking stone with boobs that suddenly takes emo pills to care for the asshole called Gendo, but doesn't even flinch if you massage her naked breasts. That takes me quite off. Shinji it's supposed to be the main character, but normally you don't really wish the main character to die and this motherfucker should be dead in every scene he is in. I can't stand him, I really really can't, He just angst, cries and complains (hypocrisy much?). When he saves somebody is technically because he was forced into, what kind of hero is that?

Many speaks about what a tragic thing is when Asuka died and how many cried, but I still think it was one of the best things ever to see that psychotic bitch cry over the pain. What is this thing about the Eva operators that are all mentally ill? Is it required to operate the EVA? Oh, it's because the EVA has the soul of their mothers and it's just a coincidence that they are mind-fucked-up? That explains everything... explains shit.

NOBODY in this series is likable for me. Nobody, not one single soul in these series. If they replaced the characters with cardboard boxes I would not notice any difference besides that it just got better. The story it's really dificult to know the pace given that there is the main series, the ovas, the movies, which I saw one and it was great for the animation, fight scenes and CGI, but just that, it was left with no ending, telling you "Oh, too bad, you'll just have to wait for the next movie, tada!".

Even with ALL THESE COMPLAINS (and more) I just don't get the feeling that I hate it, or even that it's a bad anime: Even the unlikable characters, I want to know what's wrong with them, why are they that fucked up, what NERV it's doing really, when are they going to die, etc. And the fights are interesting enough to keep me watching them, but its not at all a great anime and even less as the best anime ever, it's generic AT BEST; The Halo of animes but without multiplayer. Unlikable characters, pointless plot, useless symbolism, science so soft you could use it to fill your pillows, overrating and you'll get: Michaelbaydoingthreetransformersmoviesitis... And of course; Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Hypemeter: 4.0 Bays (Woooo, Giant fighting robots!!!)
Storymeter: 0.3 Lovecrafts (Story? I though it was some anti-depressants commercials)
Funmeter: 0.5 Derbezes (Fun in some parts, everything else, I don't really give a crap.)
Hype-deceptionmeter: 100.0 Molyneuxes (Really, really, really disappointed)

-FF-

PD: Really somebody kill Shinji and the ones that requests reviews... and yes, this one it's in English.